I loved that song…I always wanted to be “that girl”

That is, until I saw what Mr. Ocean actually looked like….

Hey YOU…..get into my car. Love the Ocean.

hmmm..

Hasselhoff – Baywatch – Ocean – Billy Ocean. 4 degrees.

Of course you’re correct. Was there ever any question? Hell, I would give your left testicle just to touch the comb that brushed his ass hair.

That’s how excited he gets me.

And no, he doesn’t “stuff”. He Masturstrokes- http://www.americanlifestyle.com/products/Masturstoke.jpg

But seriously folks…that’s totally not her.

That, my friend is the stunning, fearless amateur detective known as “Jennifer Hart”, who, along with her husband Johnathan, jetset around the globe only to find themselves involved in crimes of smuggling, international espionage, and…(wait for it)…

Murder.

http://www.gasolinealleyantiques.com/celebrity/images/TV/coral-harttohart.JPG

My Dee Dee would never resort to 80′s-type porn movies. Rick, on the other hand…well let’s just say that my surrogate Dad was no stranger to cheesy background music.

Oh, those late night drama club events…trust me, I know them well.

Not only did I lose my innnocence (for the second time) during rehearsals for our Kabuki production of “Yoshitsune Senbon Zakura” loosely translated to mean something about trees), I also learned how to say “Hello! My name is Moon!” in Japanese.

The latter being something that has definitely come in handy.

God, what you would give to brush that man’s ass hair. Am I correct?

I used to watch that show religiously, and even though I was too young to partake in the “hard stuff” at the time, I do remember being “completely hopped-up” on swedish berries and various Coca-Cola products.

Which is probably why I always thought Tattoo was a flying-hobbit and Mr. Roark was crying “Zeppelin! Zeppelin!”

In my case, I probably should have just said yes.

Twice.