As Seen On Television
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THE WHISPER 200,000
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NEVER MISS ANOTHER WORD!!! EVER!!!
- Hear a whisper from across a Football Stadium
- Enjoy clear sounds of the TV even when on mute
- Never miss a word at any movie theatre within 4,632 miles
- Listen to birds singing…in Heaven
- Hear noises that don’t even exist
- Track the sounds of wildlife before they are even born
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But that’s not all! Order The Whisper 200,000 within the next 15 minutes and you’ll also recieve the amazing “Vision Enhancer” at no extra cost:
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”I can see your pituitary gland!”
Our Operators are standing by. Call now!
To order by phone call: 1-800-SAY-WHAT?
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Customer Reviews*
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- Mike from PA writes about The Whisper 200,000: Love it. Works like a charm. works awesome on my partially deaf six year old son also. Whenever he ain’t listening to me, I just stick it on his head and then yell into his ear. Simple to use, no mess. Awesome for a gift.
Overall Rating:
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Bill from VA writes about The Whisper 200,000: Now when a tree falls in the forest, I’m the one who hears it!
Overall Rating:
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- Helen from WA writes about Whisper 200,000: I am giving The Whisper 200,000 one star only because they won’t let me give it a big fat zero. Because of my weak neck muscles, I was unable to keep the device on for long periods. Not only that, living in a rainy climate meant that whenever there was a shower outside, the rain lightly tapping against the earpiece made me feel like I was smack in the middle of a terrorist attack. Thanks to this horrible invention, not only am I forced to wear a permanent cervical collar, I now suffer from a severe case of Agoraphobia.
I am currently in talks with my lawyer about suing the makers of this product.
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* The above Whisper 200,000 reviews are from independent reviewers, and are meant to help inform potential buyers. These reviews are not the opinion of the original as-seen-on-tv-reviews.
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To all you Convo-Followers out there:
Just so you know, I will be in and out of commission for the next month, as I am off visiting new and exciting places.
Depending on available internet service, I will be posting and visiting intermittently, and promise to return with “New and Improved” (or at least new) convo-worthy topics.
Consider yourself warned.
Bschooled:)
That sounds intriguing and exciting, enjoy…
Nooooooooooooooooo
It’s jail, right?
LOL LOON!!!
new and exciting places!! very cool, have fun.
I see an added use for the Whisper 2000
when I fall down drunk at a tailgate party (which is known to happen) people can whip up a stir fry on my head
thus removing the stigma of being a useless fall down drunk
Haha! That’s a killer idea, Dianne!
If only they’d come out with the “George Foreman Grill” option…
Totally effing funny Ms B for realz. Other things you can hear with the Whisper 200,000:
The Krebs Cycle
Mite farts
Your own spermatoza arguing with each other
People writing bad checks
Ennui
Rust
Trees falling in the forest when on one is around
An awkward silence
Sleep
Sexual orientation
The March of Dimes
Beige
October
Other people’s Uh Oh button
You know, stuff like that.
Have fun on your adventure, I hear Yemen is awesome this time of year.
CHEERS,
FJ
HA!!! Effing funny squared, FJ. LOL worthy, even.
But if you have The Whisper 200,000, you probably knew that already. (The damn thing can hear my freaking thoughts!)
ps. I’ll send you a postcard from Yemen.
Wow, 2 products to take voyeurism to a whole new level! I must thank Helen for the head’s up – I won’t use mine on rainy days!
Safe travels, b! I don’t have to tell you to have fun, because it’s in your DNA!
I’ll thank Helen for you, Talon. It’s the least I could do.
Thanks for the well wishes, T. Let’s just hope that my fun-filled DNA doesn’t get me into too much trouble.
Where you going? Where is your house? Tell your neighbors some movers might be coming. haha
Ha! Since I happen to be a professional squatter, I think it’s safe to say the jokes on you, Bearman!
Er, or maybe the jokes still on me?
(To tell you the truth, I’m not sure how that works…)
Yang….be careful, take care of yourself, and HAVE FUN!!
Thanks Ying! I’ll do all three.:)
Splendid work, bschooled. No wonder you need some time off, what with all the research and heavy lifting involved. Those earpieces alone look as if they way 2-4 lbs a piece.
I’m sure I speak for everyone everywhere when I say that we’re all tired of technology’s relentless miniaturization. Sometimes (and this would be one of those times) you just want the world to know that you CAN’T FUCKING HEAR!
You’ll never have to ask someone to speak up again. They’ll know. It will be as plain as the Kitchenaid Mixing Bowls surrounding your face. No more spinning the dial on your “invisi-ear” until all you can hear is piercing feedback and the thoughts of others. No more pretending to understand what people are saying and then picking up the check for a party of six at the local restaurant. No more people telling other people to SPEAK THE FUCK UP because you’re a little hard of hearing.
They’ll just know.
One look will be all it takes. SEE THAT SHIT ON HER HEAD? they’ll say in a normal tone but enhanced greatly by the mini-satellite dishes currently fusing your upper spine, SHE CAN”T FUCKING HEAR YOU, YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK.
Life will be a painless joy for you until your eventual paralysis. Imagine hearing all the small talk that you never could pick up on before, like IF YOU LOOK IN THE RIGHT EARPIECE, YOU CAN SEE DOWN HER FUCKING SHIRT.
OMIGOD! YOU TOTALLY FUCKING CAN! DUDE, CHECK THIS OUT!
And so on…
Magical…
CLT,
Not only is your comment full of truth-simulated (?) irony, it really hits close to home. So close, in fact, that had it been just a few inches to the left, there’s no doubt in my mind that it would have broken the front awning window.
All I can say is thank God I didn’t sign up with AlarmForce, or that would have been quite the scene.
*uncomfortably awkward silence*
Now, it’s not to say that I’m deaf, or even hard of hearing for that matter (not to brag or anything, but over the years I’ve heard more than my fair share of pins dropping), but if I had a nickel for every time someone looked down my cleavage baring, two-sizes too big shirt thanks to the reflective lighted mirror I strategically attach to my chin at such an angle so that my “sweater puppies” can be enjoyed by all…
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…Well, let’s just say that right now I’d probably be ear-high in those attention-grabbing, neck breaking Whisper 200,000′s. (Not to mention the fact that I’d also own my weight in Ronco shares.)
*uncomfortable-er awkward silence*
Oh, would you look at that, my plane is here…
Finally, a device whereby I can hear one hand clapping (and the sound of e.e. cummings rolling over in his grave).
Ha!
There are times when I swear I can hear Mr. Cummings rolling over in his grave without the Whisper 200,000…
Wow, what a terrific product B! I’d happily pay two…..three or even four hundred dollars for this amazing device. I heard that it’s just like tripping your balls off on Peyote or being high on crack cocaine in a drug dealers house while some gay Asian man-boy is setting off firecrackers while you’re patiently waiting to rob him.
I can’t wait to receive mine! Well, there are just too many uses for this to name. But I know what I will use it for….
Listening to the bank account information on Bank of America’s bonus checks so I can redirect the deposits.
Listening to the cops in the other room.
Listening to my attorneys making the plea bargain.
Listening to the other inmates plotting.
It’s going to be soooo great!
All I can say is “Great minds think alike, Scott.” I was planning to use it for the exact same thing!
Well, except instead of tripping my balls off I’d be tripping my ovaries off (wtf?), and instead of robbing the gay Asian man-boy, I’d be drilling him for make-up tips. (For some reason no matter how hard I try, I can never get my eyes to “really pop.”)
Oh, and instead of using it for listening to the cops, attorneys and other inmates, I’d be listening to the rapid beat of my heart (it always makes really cool sounds when I’m high on peyote and crack cocaine).
Ok, so I guess it’s not the exact same thing, but…
Er, like I said, I’ve got a plane to catch.
that is an incredible piece of hearing machine…i never really mind looking like a dumbass, as long as i get to eavesdrop. who doesn’t like to eavesdrop?
Hear noises that don’t even exist? What if I already do? Does that mean they do exist?
I’m so confused.
pamela, that probably means youre having a flashback don’t fear the free trip, just enjoy the moment.
I know, Pamela, it confused me too.
But I was told that if you already hear noises that don’t exist, The Whisper 200,000 will just remove them and provide you with other, more “clear sounding” non-existant noise.
It’s very intuitive…
OMG LOL AOSLTMS (and other stupid letters that mean stuff)!!! I KNOW you’re taking an exotic trip right now becuae with the Whisper 200,000 I can HEAR your plane taking off and just so you know, I can hear that little brat’s head cold behind you so ask the steward who sounds like Rush Limbaugh if you could please move up and sit by that guy who sounds like Cary freakin’ Grant back in the day (winky winky); you will NOT regret it. He sounds like beef on the hoof, B, and his light step tells me he’s good on his feet, while the creaking leather of his bulging wallet screams SUGAR DADDY!
This thing has game, baby; plus my daughter can play a little hoop if I tilt my head just right.
“Track the sounds of wildlife before they are even born,” had me laughing like h-e double hockey sticks. Have a grand adventure and I look forward to your next post, after you’re realaxed, revamped, and ready to rock. Great post mi amiga!
I agree with your post to Scott. I wish we could edit after posting . . . kind of blew the word “because” in the post. I need help to worry about such things. Lots of help.
Haha! I swear we must be related. I’ve actually lost sleep after misspelling a word on a comment.
I mean it doesn’t stop me, but still…
HA! See, I told you these things are amazing, I haven’t even left yet and already you can hear my future!
I hate to admit this, but I actually had to Google Cary freakin’ Grant. I mean, sure, I’d heard of him before (thanks to his good looking yet mildly perverted son Hugh), but I needed to find out just what exactly I was in for.
To tell you the truth he’s not my usual type (I tend to like them scruffier and less “black and white”), but I’m sure the bulging wallet will more than make up for his shortcomings.
Thanks Dan!
Sorry Bschooled! Kind of went back to Don’s era. Oh! The Whisper tells me a guy that looks like The Rock is going to share peanut snacks! Before it happens! Woo-woooooo!
I know you’re out there having the time of your life, Bschooled! I need a “B vitamin” when you get back, and I hope there’s wild stories (fess up . . . you rigged that thing at the Olympics to get stuck, and fluster Wayne Gretzky). Yesterday my wife spotted Sarah Palin’s book and drew a line in the sand: If Palin ever gets elected, we will move to Canada. She even picked out properties that are a few hours from the family cabins in Maine. Just when I started playing hockey again . . . go Sarah! Woo-wooo! Will they have me up there . . ?
The Whisper makes me think of this
http://the-wawam-file.blogspot.com/2009/04/whisper-sanitary-pads-ewwww-tv-ad-with.html
(scroll down to the Whisper youtube)
OMG NM, I have no idea where you find this stuff, but you make my life.
Just think of the things we could do if we ever collaborated!
ps. “Have a happy period!!”
Best tag line ever
Dear god NM and Bschooled that ad was scary on so many levels. I wonder if they told the man what they were really advertising
I have a Whisper 2,000 and let me just say, my ShamWow works a treat with it. I can’t say the same for my “Vision Enhancer” sadly, it strains my eyes
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Geez, if Carol just wore goggles I would have given her my pair!
Haha! Congratulations on being my first (good) “Pun O’ The Day”…
My roommate made a few this morning while making her breakfast (“eggsactly”, “get the yolk?”, etc.), but sadly they failed to even make it into the running.
ps. http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/X292Firefighter/WhyCarol.png
Have a great trip B will look forward to you getting back with some new great stuff!!!!
Really? Wow, sounds like you’re going to have some fun!
don’t forget…WE WANT PICTURES!
lol. you cant be serious.