Mating Rituals Of The Animal Kingdom

**Because I am an expert at the art of seduction (if I wasn’t always black-out drunk at the time I’d let my numbers speak for themselves), I’ve decided to use my skills to help other, more art-of-seduction-challenged singles find true love.

.

In part one of this educational ongoing series (fingers crossed!), I joined a site that specializes in “bringing together older women and younger men online.”


.

As you can tell from my professionally photo-aged avatar, I obviously qualify.

.

*Though technically labeled “My Profile”, keep in mind that the following is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event.

…But especially person.

.


The 5 (+2) People You Meet On Cougared.Com

.

1. The Headless Casanova.

.

2. The “Poet Turned ESL” Guy

3. The “I’m Allergic To Pants” Guy

.

4. The Misogynist

5. Guy Most Likely To End Up On “To Catch A Predator Predator”

.

6. Mr. Cynical

.

7. The “One”

.

The Insomnia Games (part 1 of a 1+ part series)

*I apologize for my absence from the blogosphere. Due to a mild case of Bronchitis-turned-Pneumonia-turned-Tuberculosis with Smallpox-ish like tendencies Black Lung Disease, I’ve spent the last week or lying in the fetal position, expanding on my now impressive collection (if I do say so myself) of terminal illness-related bed sores.

*****

The Insomnia Games- Game #1

I like to call this game, “After 24 Hours Of No Sleep, Come To The Realization That The Key To Self-Validation Is Being The Best Answerer Of Questions Posted On Yahoo.”

Players: 1
Objective: Keep answering questions until either a) yours is declared “Best Answer”, or b) you are  blocked from the site.
Rules: None, really.

.

.

__________________________________________________________________

Round 1-

__________________________________________________________________

Round 2-

__________________________________________________________________

Round 3-

.

..

__________________________________________________________________

Round 4-

.

.

__________________________________________________________________

Round 5-

.

.__________________________________________________________________

Final Round-

**And THIS is why you should never give up. (Even if they threaten to delete your account for abusing the site and having absolutely nothing of value to add to the discussion.)

And finally

.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 197 other followers