The worst part is now they think I’M the freak.




























*TFCOG- The Honorary “Thanks For Coming Out Guy”.






  1. Don’t feel bad, I use the vomiting pope all the time.

  2. Another fine piece of work Bschooled.

    Personally, however, I enjoyed the lad’s earlier groups:

    “If people could hear what I was thinking they’d be largely uninterested, probably bored and might even hit me.”

    “If people could hear what I was thinking they’d understand why I don’t feel comfortable taking a shower after gym class.”

    and the always “liked”

    “If people could hear what I was thinking then they would have psychic powers and the world would be like an X-men movie which would be so cool because I love the X-men (but not in a gay way).”

    Keep up the fine work Bschooled.

    Your friend,


    • Excuse me. I believe I meant “telepathic” but if people could hear what I was thinking you’d know that already.

    • Ahh, yes. I’ve been a member of each of these groups at one time or another (granted my membership in the first two expired years before Facebook even existed).

      But if I had to pick, I’d say that “If people could hear what I was thinking then they would have ‘telepathic’ (er, this is where you were thinking it should go, right?) powers and the world would be like an X-men movie which would be so cool because I love the X-men (but not in a gay way)” was my favorite. That’s why I was so upset when the administrator suddenly closed it down.

      I guess I can’t blame him, though. I’d probably close it down too if people started calling me a “freak”.

      And thus a new group was born.

      Anyway, Don, I’m glad that you’ve finally found an activity to help pass the rest of your time.

      Do me a favor, though, watch out for those friend requests. Some of those people might just be trying to take advantage. (Not to mention the fact I’d feel awkward knowing you have more friends than me.)

      Your friend,

  3. Oh dear god… priceless stuff. I’m very happy to know that you are patrolling FB and keeping the “noobs” in check. Have you done posts where people actually realize you’re railing on them and that they ARE the joke?

  4. elizabeth3hersh says:


    This facebook series is starting to grow on me. I used to revel in cheerfulness and Ha-Pe-Nis…now the best I can muster up is to request a blogger friend to sext me a pic of his peen (yes, we are that close). Seriously, I’m going to have to create a facebook account just to ‘friend’ you (sans the sexting of course).

  5. Don’t forget his other group.

    I used to tell people what I was thinking but got beat up alot.

    Oh and Nicole honey “Im cnfused knw” What the hell. “NOW” isn’t spelled with a K

    • Ha! Bearman, I swear you and Nurse Myra have eagle-hawk eyes. Or, better yet, whawk eyes**. (Whale + Hawk)

      **Fun fact- Whawk eyes are 37% sharper than eagle-hawk eyes. (Because they’re water-proof.)

  6. Hey Ying….so sorry about the lack of my presence lately. Did you notice?

    “I found out the hard way.” ROFLMAO!!

  7. Denny scratched the screen as he suggested.

    It smelled a little like paper mache and salt.

  8. I hate to use the most overused expression in the blogging language, but – laugh out loud! Honestly. I’m lovin the Facebook farce. There is nothing better than watching you infiltrate groups of people too stupid to notice the invasion, its the kind of deft stealth skill the Bush Administration could learn a thing or two about, although, admittedly, they would need to shift their focus from invading sovereign nations to that of a bunch of border-less half wits, but still….

    • But still, indeed!

      Believe it or not, Ruby, right now I’m actually working undercover to invade a FB group that I believe was created by an Australian (only because the group is called “I’m an Australian And I Started This Group”).

      Anyway, just thought I should let you know. Because if things start to get hairy, I’ll be calling on you for back-up.

  9. I don’t have time for a proper comment but I just had to tell you how incredibly happy I am that you are finally letting your freak flag fly.

    I also wanted to tell you how awesome you are and that I adore you with every cell of my being. I don’t even care how big your cerial bowl is.

    “i lovee youu”

    • Scott, thanks to you, my freak is flag flying all over the place.

      And knowing that you don’t care about my cerial bowl just makes it all the more, um, flighty.

      Suffice to say, if you were Dolly Parton, right now I’d be setting out to get you with a fine tooth comb. (But I’m glad you’re not, only because I have no idea where to buy those things.)

      ps. I hope that wasn’t your Dystharia talking. (You really should get that checked.)

  10. I just want to tell you I did not scratch the screen. I don’t fall in love with you and will not marry your cereal bowl

    I do think you fit in well in some face-book groups. But not this one.

    But as for Infiltrating that would be like infiltrating the USA from Mexico.
    Just walk on over, we’re open.

    I have been working on my spelling and grammar could you help me out
    I could not find Spazzy, anywhere in Merriam-Webster’s then I could not find facebook eather.

    I can clearly see how your Dad’s CIA training has helped in this group.

    I just say keep of the good work. There are a lot of stupid people out there and they need your help.
    LOL come to think of it I’m out there to. Help me! Help me!

    • (facebook either ) L.M.F.A.O.R.I.T.F – I’m dumber then a rock to.

    • Trust me, Ellis. I know what stupid is, and you’re not it.

      The problem is that you’re looking in the wrong dictionary. Merriam-Webster is so old school. Seriously, she only updates herself like once a year!

      You need to go to the Urban Dictionary. It will tell you everything you ever didn’t not want to know, but thought you did. -

      I’m always here for you, Ellis. (Unless I’m somewhere else, that is.)

  11. Reading April’s response in the “I love you” status made my head hurt.

  12. I’m confused by TFCOG’s emoticon … (: It looks like fried eggs with a unibrow.

    • You’re close, Coop.

      It’s actually the top half of a head (the part that holds the brain). It’s been missing for a while now, so he’s tunred his Facebook updates into a sort of “cyber-milk carton”.

  13. Bschooled,

    Hilarious!! I am tempted to click on the “View all 16 comments,” then realize it’s not FB after all :-(. So creative, b! I find the characters really came to life (ha). Scary, huh? :-)

  14. I’m still trying to figure out where to put the stamp on the monitor.

  15. Bschool

    Well my mother always says if they say mean things then they are not your friends…and by they way how could anyone not like you…we all have contempt at times for people..especially sometimes Mr Mills…..his and his damn brill creme smell….but anyone who doesnt like you must not like me and mr mills and jammer5 and the rest of the wacky crew…..zman sends

    • Thanks Zman!

      I think that Don’s brill cream smells kind of comforting…like he’s still around, you know? Though I do sometimes wonder why he bothers. (I’m thinking it’s because he’s a creature of habit.)

      Thanks for sending, Z. It’s always great to see you!


  16. OMG, where do you find these groups???

  17. I love this. (Wait, it’s an hour later . . .) No, I looooooooooove thissssss.

    My favorite is when you suggest they should become of a member of the “I Don’t Like Fun Jokes” group. Hilarious!

    You totally called out Nicole for being a n00b. She had it coming.

  18. frigginloon says:

    This is why I am glad I don’t have friends, I would hate to attract noobs. Facebook seems to be a breeding ground for them :(

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