Blame Sully.

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*Identity Theft Rule #187:  It’s not identity theft if the person whose identity you’re thefting (?) was from the 19th Century.

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Comments

  1. You’re doing some fine work on the internet.

    Some damn fine work.

  2. So Dr. I have this leach on my leg (wink) and I’ve been told to burn it off, stab it with a ice pick or freeze it till it falls off but do to the location (hand gesture) I was hoping you might have a better idea.

    • Actually, you were told correctly. Personally I prefer the ice pick, but any of those methods would work.

      To tell you the truth, right now I’m more worried about your parenthesized wink and hand gesture. How long have you had these tics?

  3. You were mighty tolerant of the fake “Dr Phil” and the faker “Dr Mehmet Oz”, hijacking your wall to advance their own petty agendas. Next time anyone tries to pull that shit, ask for proof of credentials.

    Do you remember Miss Solitaire in Live and Let Die? As far as I know, she’s the only woman who lost her virginity to James Bond.

    • I know, right? You’d think Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz would have something better to do. (Like Oprah, maybe.)

      Since growing up I was more into the E.T./Irreconcilable Differences genre of film, I actually had to Google Miss Solitaire (right after I Googled this “James Bond” fellow).

      Your obscure wit is one of the things I admire most about you, GB. That, and your gentle prodding skills, of course.

  4. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Bschooled, you blow me away with your range of knowledge and life experience…it’s like you have fully digested, lived and can liberally draw upon every decade since WWII. How the hell do you do it? It’s like you’ve already lived your entire life, yet in actuality, it’s only just begun! It takes someone my age to really appreciate the tapestry you weave…and you, my dear, are a master weaver. Your blog should have a thumb icon for ‘like this’ so I can hammer it.

    • Thank-you, Elizabeth. While it’s true that as a child I matured faster than my peers (while everyone else was reading Nancy Drew books I was reading about Jeffrey Dahmer and the Son of Sam), I think it has more to do with me being an avid “Googler”.

      During the recession, I was paid to spend 40 hours a week perfecting my internet surfing skills.

      Sure, my employers could have always just laid me off, but it didn’t make sense to them at the time. (I think it was because they didn’t know what to do with the extra office space.)

  5. Buttonbush/peyote concoction? And all these years I thought it was for depression. Or hanging with those cool natives out west. Or Mexican diableros. Or just for laughs. Or Jim Morrison. Or . . . or . . . a registered 19th century frontier doctor who is extremely hot. She reminds me of a major coke dealer I knew in the Boston area, muling for George Jung. Scott is nodding his head now . . . thanks, B! You rule the “book”!

    • That’s the best part about Buttonbush/peyote, Dan. It’s extremely versatile!

      Depression, not depression, chillin with the natives…it’s like the swiss army knife of lethal narcotics!!

      (?)

  6. Awesome!!!
    Too bad you couldn’t have worked something in about being held captive by the Dog Soldiers.

    I’m sure she totally went ‘native’. Comprende?

  7. Dr. Quinn, you haven’t changed at all. I think you should charge for all this free medical advice you’re giving out. I mean, seriously, it might be time to get some money for a new outfit. I bet Sully would like that :)

    • Talon, you’re right. I guess I’m just so used to looking after the poor (but proud) townsfolk.

      Not to mention the fact that I know nothing about filing taxes.

      ps. Sully is dreamy, isn’t he?

  8. Oh boy what a nice way to log into my day at work, a couple hours into it, with this. You should keep up the MQ attitude and post to FB on your 21st century reality show with her and sully. will you please do a guest spot on “the doctors,” too?

    • I think you might be on to something, John. Or maybe I’ll just cut out the middle men and do a reality show about me sitting on the couch watching Dr. Quinn and Sully! (Not to brag or anything, but my facial expressions are really dramatic.)

      Oh, and of course I’ll do a guest spot on The Doctors. (But only because I was planning on doing that anyway).

      Always nice to see you, John:)

  9. I tried to find Dr. Quinn on FB b/c I feared I was consumptive, but then realized all the blood I coughed up is due to being a vampire.

  10. I don’t know if I should be impressed or appalled that you know so much about that show.

  11. I could learn a lot from Dr. Quinn and incorporate it into my health care platform. Her rates were much more reasonable than today’s rates plus she made house calls. Nothing is worse than going to a doctor’s office and being greeted by a bunch of sick people and that your wallet will be a lot lighter.

  12. Oh dear god Bschooled, that was funnier than when Pa Ingalls told Nellie Olson to shove it in her cake hole!

  13. This is officially totally outrageous.

    Dr. Michaela Quinn, Medicine Woman??????

    DYING.

    No pun intended there. I was seriously dying. I was not expecting this at all, and that’s the best kind of tingle. Open your brain, let me live in it.

    I’m trying out the snail remedy though, for real.

  14. Elizabeth is right, its like your an old person…a really funny old person.
    ;-)

  15. Obviously, your talent knows NO end.

    Carry on, genius, carry on.

  16. I’m confused. I thought Sully was that guy who landed an airplane in the Hudson river and became a hero to alcoholics who were nicknamed Sully and/or commuter pilots everywhere? You mean there was more than one famous Sully?

    I’m also confused by Deb’s math and why Debora would think that Dr Quinn was even part Italian? Quinn is clearly Irish. And so is the fucking Sully, whether he’s a hero, a drunk or a pilot, that motherfucker is Irish.

  17. God, I miss stalking people on Facebook sometimes!!!! Great post mistress!

  18. Peyote… nature’s wonder medicine. Good for buffalo attacks and Facebookers alike. I commend you Dr. Quinn.

  19. That post turned a so-so day in a good one for Denny.

    Of course, I’m having sexual intercourse later, so it was bound to happen anyway.

  20. As will Denny.

    Just not on my head.

  21. Denny’s still around, love. Just like he promised.

    Okay, so we can do it now, right?

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