The Evolution of The Cameltoe

*FYI- This isn’t really a post as much as it is a side-effect of insomnia/thinly-veiled cry for help.

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Pre 2000 BC

 

 

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1676 (First recorded)

 

 

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1817  (T. gigas specimen)

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Born 1956

 

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1966

 

 

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1981

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1981-1982

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1982?

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.Not sure?

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.I’m guessing mid-90’s

 

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Same as above

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2009

 

 

 

 

 

Present Day

 

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Comments

  1. That last picture of Will.i.am is really disturbing. Oh who am I kidding, almost all these pictures are disturbing. He just takes the cake.

    • I just don’t get how he could justify those things.

      I get being edgy, but I keep imagining him looking in the mirror and thinking, “You know, these pants really bring out my third leg.”

  2. Somewhere around “SHAZAM!eltoe” I developed a huge crush on you.

  3. Black Betty’s Blam-de-Lameltoe,
    Spameltoe,
    and Sam I Ameltoe’s
    Green Eggs and Hameltoe!

    That’s all I have time for. I’m afraid I’ll miss my trameltoe.

  4. It’s like he tried out to play MC Hammer and didn’t quite get the part.

  5. I’m attracted to the John Hammeltoe!

  6. whameltoe!
    amazing!

  7. According to one of the interns here at the office, the male equivalent to camel toe is called a “moose knuckle”.
    You’re welcome.

    • True, but I’m currently on a mission to change that.

      Not only do I believe in equal rights, I also don’t want people assuming it’s a condition that only affects Canadian men.

      Plus, SHAZAM!mooseknuckle just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  8. Where’s the mistletoe? I mean, that slutty twig lets all its berries hang out. Tramp.

  9. Spock’s lunch is seriously scary

  10. This should seriously go into the Smithsonian.

  11. Denny just yanked his pants way up into his jock as a tribute to this fine piece of photojournalism.

  12. Poor Mr. Spock’s penis didn’t know whether to be an ‘inny’ or an ‘outty.’ But Don Draper is hung like a fucking horse! Or, well, a camel, I guess.

    Don’t ever change B!

    • Don’t change? But I’ve been wearing this for three days straight!

      (Sorry, Scott. I was momentarily possessed by my Dad’s sense of humor circa 1985.)

  13. Dear CLAMeltoe:

    Please come back. All is forgiven. You can’t split up a relationship like ours.

    Love,
    BOYster

  14. The post before this went bye, bye????

    Toes, toes everywhere
    for all around them I see
    My mother would slap me
    upside my head and say
    Son shame on thee
    I’d tell her it’s okay mother
    for I’m sure you know
    that when it comes to
    Camel_ _ _s Aunt Sue
    has the biggest set to show

    • Your mother slapped you
      Upside your head just for that?
      Aunt Sue asked for it

      I only know how to write haiku poems, but this one is especially for you!

      I call it, “Haiku Especially for You. (aka. Desk49)”

      The post is still there, it’s just down a bit…

  15. elizabeth3hersh says:

    This makes me long for silicone labial augmentation, Bschooled. But, I guess if you didn’t want to go that route, you could always use suture strips for a more ‘uniform’ appearance. Come to think of it, those suture strips (the paper kind) might work better than “dear, I have a headache tonight.”

    Your BEST post Bschooled!!

    • Haha! I’m surprised that Silicone Labial Augmentation hasn’t been discussed on The Real Housewives of LA yet. Or, maybe it has.

      I’ve watched a few episodes (Insomnia causes me to have poor judgment when it comes to watching television), but I never remember what happens because I’m so obsessed with the hot mess they call Kelsey Grammar’s ex-wife.

  16. Dorothy actually had a move called the Hamill Camel. So it would be HamillCameltoe

  17. What the crap is going on with that last one? Turd in the pants?

  18. Hmm…I’ve never banged a yam before. Thanks for the great idea!

  19. You’ve opened my eyes to a whole new world of cameltoe. I had no idea cameltoe was so ubiquitous throughout history.

  20. I hope those aren’t testicle markers on Bram-eltoe’s pants….Jingle balls :(

  21. Camel-tron: http://mydisguises.com/2010/12/22/tron-guys-costume-banned-from-movie-theater/

    Unfortunately, I think his original instructions are lost to the Internet, but this pic will do.

    You’re welcome.

  22. My favorite thing about your blog is how it continually adds to the list of “Things I Can Never Un-See.”

    No, wait. My favorite thing about it is your new tagline. That shit is brilliant.

  23. lol! Sharon, Lois and Bram would never allow public displays of the toe…it would definitely be kept under wraps. :)

    Hope you have a fabulous weekend, b, and get some sleep!

    • I know! They’re pretty secretive about that stuff. I spent hours Googling variations of the term “Bram’s groin pics,” just to find that one shot.

  24. You are insane. So are your readers. Keep up the good work!

  25. I think the picture of Bram is pointing to his butt. For some reason his butt is in the front and his Brameltoe is in the back.

  26. Cry for help you say? Insomnia? Maybe you could sleep if you stopped thinking with your vagina. Just a suggestion.

    My normal policy is never to comment on camel toes, but this seems like an extreme enough case to warrant breaking the rules. This blog is worth the risk.

  27. Oh yeah most definetely a cry for help…look up kelly ripa pics ..she is looking at something and crouching…it is the world champion of camletoe pics…other then that…ok i dont have anything….hmmmmmm well no i am not going there..zman sends

  28. So many toes, so little time, sigh . . .

  29. omg.

    you. are. my idol.

    Assignment: now i need to know the evolution of the moose knuckle.

  30. when you say this is a cry for help…does it have anything to do with a cameltoe you might currently have? and need help getting rid of? or maybe you wish us to take a pic of it?

  31. I laughed, I cried, I snorted, and laughed some more. I’m running out of ways to tell you how awesome your posts are. You make my frickin day with each one.

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