Q: What do you get when you cross vintage magazine advertisements with random search terms that people have used to find my blog?
A: This post! LOL!
*crickets chirping*
But seriously, though. You do.
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Just Making Convo 
I believe about half of these should be ads for “Just Making Porno”, but they are extremely amusing nonetheless. That last bald-headed model also seems to be speaking Spammish.
“Just Making Porno” is the name of my new movie!
(It’s like High School Musical, only slightly different choreography.)
ps. Spammish-HA!
Glee Porn Musical?
LOVE these! You oughta work in advertising B! It’s sorta obnoxious when you do list comedy like these, how commenters feel the need to point out their fave. So I like the one with gramps stealing the bacon. I wonder what he’s gonna do with it …
A game of “hide the sausage” springs to mind…
It’s like you’re telepathic or something!
HAHA! You’re right, David, it’s sooo obnoxious!!
Personally, I like the chafed penis one. But then again, I’m biased.
Those are hilarious–you’re so cleverly creative!
It’s hard to pick a favorite, but I guess mine would be the second–“Sorry I chafed your penis”! It’s so funny seeing these proper 50’s people as they really were, as opposed to the way the mass media portrayed them at the time!
In today’s enlightened times, there’s no excuse not to douche!
that tajwij ohbe chorlij was me. damn, thanks for calling me out.
Will frozen peas provide the same results as the vintage headlights above, bschooled? Or, super-gluing raisins in my bra (if I wore a bra)? Also, will you be unveiling a mammary version of the prosthetic cameltoe? NipTips?
Bra Raisins? Now there’s an idea…..
Loved this. I was just telling Rip as I pulled up your blog that you were cute as a button with a with that won’t quit! I agree with Scott, very clever blogging.
um.. with a WIT that won’t quit. I hate that i can’t withdraw my comment if it doesnt come out just right.
Ha! I hate that too. But don’t worry, to me your comment came out perfectly.:)
“Sorry, I chafed your penis.”
THAT WAS EPIC.
So using that.
Hilarious post!
I don’t believe that dog is really into cunnilingus, she must have put a dog biscuit up her coochie.
Please can I come to your next sausage party?
Of course, NM. In fact, I thought we’d have it at your house.
Do Aussies believe in sausage?
An inspired combination!! Awesomely hilarious!
Thanks Amy! I aim to inspire.:)
I sneezed and pee’d my pants…. What can you do to help me???
Depends…
LOLOLOL! Get it?
*taps microphone* Is this thing on?
Is that your curly wolf…What exactly were they advertising?? Razor blades?
More like strategically-placed Eukanuba biscuits.
I am pleased to know that they now put Viagra in bacon. I’m not a pill-popper, but I love bacon. This will come in handy when I get old.
“Bacon. Now More Filling Than Ever!”
This is one of your best!
I’m glad you said that, Rod. Because I’m dedicating it to you. :)
Those last two pictures scare the hell out of me. I mean, really. Well, the second to last just makes me feel like dry heaving. The last picture scares me. Can you imagine running into that bitch in a dark ally?
HA! True story, I usually imagine running into Carrot Top in a dark alley.
But now that you said it, I can’t get the image out of my mind.
I think the crotch guy, the sausage girl and the German Sheppard aficionado should all get together and let out their sexual frustrations by starting a creative writing course where they would inevitably end up getting drunk and fucking.
It would be like human abstract art!
Either that, or an original plot for a “straight to Hulu” porn movie.
B,
[a] When are you going on tour? I wanna see your show.
[b] Love the drawing uptop with the kid scratched out.
John
Ha ha, you must have some promiscuous blog followers
Not to mention famous!
I’m thinking they’re the same guys who star on Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator”.
I do love seeing what searches find me. I get a lot about canoeing, sharks and hairy ass man. I am dying to know who the person was that typed in “Sorry I chafed your penis”. I am going to try to work that into office conversation next week.
Let me know how it goes! Not to sound creepy or anything, but chafed penis convos are my favorite.
Wow, the available combos literally boggle the mind: Naked grandpa running around with a chaffed penis, claiming it’s a french tickler. But then again my mind is easily boggled.
Great post.
Your mind boggles me. In a good way.;)
These are all hilarious, but something about that last one, with the bald chick, really speaks to me. Good job.
If you figure out what she’s saying, could you let me know?
I think it has something to do with the “Klingon pick-up lines” search term I also find on my stats page, but it’s hard to say for sure because I don’t speak the language.
What can I say, when it comes to Trekkies falling in love, I’m a real romantic.
Geez! What’s up with the dog/wolf all up in the ladies crotch? Give a girl some warning!
I know, right? I didn’t get a warning when I photoshopped it, either!
That bald lady is all, “This hair dryer is AWESOME.”
She’s totally pumped!!!
This post was like a Bodleian for jacking off.
I love it when you talk highbrow/lowbrow.
My favorite search term I’ve repeatedly seen in my stats is ‘mom! i spilled the milk now go sleep in the shed’. I haven’t even written my shed stories yet.
FTW?? I wouldn’t be surprised if they use this as a basis for a future episode of Criminal Minds.
Write them! I love shed stories! Well, not all shed stories, but I have a feeling I’d love yours.
Gramps kinda freaked me out. Must be an easier way to steal the bacon!
Unfortunately, there isn’t.
(Trust me, I checked.)