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Back when I was majoring in Marketing, I took a class called “The Principles of Viral Advertising”.
Apparently my professor and I had different ideas about what viral advertising actually means, because I ended up getting an F on my final project (as seen below).
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Principles of Viral Advertising: Final Project
Becky Cardwell (aka. Marketing Genius)
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And finally, for our friends in Japan:
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Just Making Convo 
“But I wasn’t down there!” “My point exactly…” Ha! Awesome.
My ex-brother-in-law had a t-shirt that said “Just Do Me.” I think “While you’re down there” is definitely t-shirt material.
You may have just given me my “sure to be a cash cow” business idea!
Maybe I’ll even call Stanfield’s and see if they’d be interested in making a Limited Edition gonch. (Or is it ginch?)
Talk about a viral campaign…you didn’t have to even doctor up that vodka ad. Win a Russian Bride? Now that is marketing.
Yeah, but it turned out to be false advertising. The Russian Bride was actually Polish.
And you had to assemble her yourself.
Nothing has ever made me want to get up there as much as your ads, Becky Cardwell, marketing genius. I am putty in your hands.
Funny you should say that, John. “Putty in Your Hands” is the name of my next marketing Campaign!
Well by all means let me know if you’ll mean models or experimental subjects for the next campaign. I am looking forward to being molded, shaped, extruded, and otherwise manipulated for the sake of marketing. John
And I am looking forward to extruding!
Wait…what?
I love the guy in bed in a shirt and tie. Do you have to dress up to get something going down there?
Good point. Maybe he works from home?
There’s a special place for you … up there.
As long as it’s above waist-level, I’m there!
bschooled, I love it when you do these posts. Hilarious! “While you’re down there” How many times have we as women heard this phrase?
If I had a nickel….;)
B, you are such a scream!!!
My mom says the same thing!
Only she’s usually screaming when she says it.
I started to date my husband because he was wearing a hat that said “Johnsons bar and grill” Liquer up front, Poker in the rear”.
Turns out it was just false advertising!
Thank God! Trust me, nothing is worse than dating a guy with a gambling addiction.
Or, so I heard.
Those who can’t, teach. That’s why you got an “F”. If your marketing teacher knew anything about marketing, you would have gotten an “A”. Your teacher would be rich from marketing instead of having to teach it.
Wiser words have never been typed. (At least not from my fingers.)
Speaking of marketing, you should market yourself as a Presidential Candidate/Life-Coach. You have a gift.
I don’t understand… what the hell did your professor think viral marketing was??
I guess he was thinking more along the lines of a whooping cough…
I think you could get a virus from reading that project. Maybe that’s why the professor failed you. Academics only care about themselves.
I guess that would explain why he was wearing safety goggles…
I kind of agree with your professor. Is this about tying shoes? I mean, the first several (especially the Nike one) indicate that but I’m completely lost once the vacuum cleaner enters the picture and I have no idea what the contortionist is up to (unless someone’s behind his head). And the toilet lady could be of some assistance if only she had some arms…
I think your heart was in the right place (“down there”) when you came up with this ad campaign, but maybe I’m just too old to “get it”, especially “down there.” (Unless this is about tying shoes, then yes, by all means. I’m behind this 100%. Those shoes need to be tied. For safety. And for our fellow countrymen and women, who depend on each and every one of us to be ready to assist others with various activities “while we’re down there.”)
Sorry to confuse you, CLT.
I should have clarified above that this wasn’t so much a humor post as it was an abstract form of expressionism.
Basically, I was taking vintage ads and altering them in such a way to express my aversion to men with narcissistic tendencies.
Also, blow jobs.
hilarious!
Thanks Nonnie!
Your BEST-EST post ever, ever, EVER!!!! You are hilarious!! Loved it!!
Thanks E, but I know you’re only saying that because we share the same mind.;)
d(^_^)b This is me with headphones on going ‘La La La La La La La La, I can’t hear you.’ This is because this is dirty and it’s about the butt, right? Of course, if it’s about the weiner, then that would be awesome.
Yes, of course it’s about the butt.
I’m a little confused, though. Seeing as you’re the one who told me about butt options in the first place I thought you’d react more favorably?
ps. Why is your face so bloated?
Shellfish
You’re on a roll, B. Shine on you crazy diamond!
Rod!!!
Where have you been, you crazy diamond shiner???
I could read these forever. But now I feel the strange urge to be down there.
I have no idea why (because it’s kind of unrelated), but when I read your comment, a horrific memory I thought I’d repressed came flooding back.
I was talking on the phone with a guy I was dating (let’s call him J), when I heard his roommate in the background yell something about how I must be the luckiest girl in the world. J became really defensive. Finally he admitted that he was extremely flexible and learned how to “pleasure himself”. I don’t know what was worse, the fact that he did that, or the fact that he told people he did that.
Sorry, I realize this has nothing to do with your comment. Sadly, my mind has a mind of its own.
I always wanted to meet someone who could do that… or at least know someone who would admit to it!
And why wouldn’t he tell people about it? It’s a fantastic icebreaker.
So, shouldn’t the women get a couple of dollars, for “while they are down there”.
OR
The 2 could trade places and just call it bartering!
Ha! Personally, I think a couple of dollars would only cover the gratuity.
But that’s just me?
So, how long have you worked in advertising?
I can’t remember, it’s been so long.
But if I had to guess, I’d say my career started shortly after my mother weaned me off breast milk.
I’m surprised the ads underneath this post weren’t for a mail order bride ;-)
I thought they were extinct?
Pro: You’re brilliant
Con: My work censors out your awesome pictures. Dicks.
Dicks indeed! What do they expect you to look at while you’re at work? This is exactly the reason why I quit my job.
Well, that and the constant rug burn.
I bet you were very good at marketing, especially the “Smell my blueberry scented cigar smoke or give me head” campaign. Men definitely would buy those. Either way they win.
(Sorry I haven’t been around lately. You’re still my idol!)
HA! “Smell my blueberry scented cigar smoke or give me head” is brilliant. Absofuckinglutely brilliant.
1. love the new header
3. i can’t think of a point #2.
4. you’re brilliant. I too, pretty much flunked my ad classes. So, if we’re both brilliant and we flunked, then who’s got it right? Obviously us. Get ready to be famous.
I’m not kidding, let’s do this bitch, B! We’ll call ourselves B squared.
Or B2. Or B+B.
Or American/Canadian B?
Don’t worry, I’ll work out the logistics. You work on getting us famous!!!
“While I’m down here.”
Who hasn’t been there, huh?
D-Love,
Is this where I’m supposed to say “Your mom” ?
How did I miss this?
PS – You’re my favorite evar.
Also – WTF Japan? WTF?
I know, right? Seriously, why would you need to ask her permission, anyway?
ps. U complete Moi.
you are a mutherfucking Mad (wo)Man
Haha! Well, maybe if I didn’t have to spend so much time “down there” I wouldn’t be so angry.
(Then again, maybe not.)
Gives new meaning to my father’s complaint when we were kids: “Don’t make me come up there!”
8-O