The Insomnia Games
*For previous game, click here.
I call this game “After your friends/family/therapist don’t answer their phone at 3am, try engaging in pleasant banter with a Twitter spam bot that has the avatar of a 80-ish year old craft-loving senior and the vernacular of a 19-year old high-school dropout/Drake wannabe.
Players: 1 real, 1 not real.
Objective: To achieve celebrity Twitter status by becoming the first person ever to antagonize a spam bot to the point where it finally reports itself.
Rules: Again, none.
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Wow. Thanks, B. I had never considered a second career as a therapist to inanimate objects! I mean, Clint Eastwood surely can’t be the only well-heeled celebrity to have unresolved anger issues with chairs. I could make bank. (I wonder where one goes to study Furniturology.)
Ha! To be fair, he may have just decided to change tactics after failing to rehabilitate his Gran Torino.
Bea, how about we promise if you and I are single in 50 years, that we become Friends with Benefiber.
I’m checking out incontinence-friendly lingerie as we speak.
You are so funny!
Thanks, Anyonymous.
ps. Given your gracious comment, I’m going to assume that you aren’t a relative.
A good art therapist should be able to tell us what Mona Lisa was really thinking and might have prevented Van Gogh’s subtle hearing problem. When Vinny heard those immortal words “Friends, Dutchmen, Foreigners! Lend me your ear!” A good art therapist would have pointed out those voices were in his head. Yep. Good work, if you can get it.
And trust me, I can get it!
It’s the paycheck that I have trouble collecting.
i want to click the links she’s endorsing. but i’m too scared. hold me.
Fershers! Unless you’re in the market for a pair of granny nipple tassels, I suggest you restrain yourself.
This is no way to treat old people…even old spam bots. You were much to easy on her. *grin*
Believe it or not, I actually felt bad when I reread them. Being the first student ever to show up for prom in a motorized scooter, it’s not like she doesn’t have enough to deal with.
B, isn’t it time you got that insomnia looked at? Maybe there’s some kind of ointment that would help. I feel sorry for the old spambot. But that avatar has me all tumescent.
Whose avatar has you all tumescent???
Also, what does tumescent mean?
God bless your insomnia.
Doc!! Does this mean you’re back? I hope so, I have a horrible case of insomnia that I need you to…er, be cynical of.
“Friends with Benefiber” I might have to steal that line.
Fine. Just don’t make it a regular habit.
ROFLMAOLOLOLOLOL Get it?
Bahaha, the last one was my favourite, I think. Well done! *claps*
Thanks, Dottie. Right now my insomnia needs all the support it can get.
I gotta hand it to her. Not too many 80-year-old women are worried about going to the prom. Now that’s a cougar!
At least she doesn’t have to deal with the pressure of deciding whether or not she’ll put out.
Because really, it’s a given.
I don’t know if I can get a Tweetbot to report me, but I did once get a deaf man to tell me to shut up.
If it makes you feel better, I once told an impotent man to “beat it”.
(I’m fully aware that my response was completely unrelated to your comment, but still. I thought you’d find it comforting anyway.)
I feel bad thinking about all of Granholm’s semi-convincing spambot friends being permabanned from life.
You’ve provided more proof of my alien intervention theories.
Somewhere on Twitter is an avatar of a 19-year old high-school dropout/Drake wannabe with the vernacular of a 80-ish year old craft-loving senior.
I for one am glad you can’t sleep. Is that bad? To wish you continued insomnia so we get to read funnies like this? Perhaps ….. Sleep well!