The Insomnia Games- Pt. ??
*You can find previous games here, here and other places on this blog that I’m too tired to look up right now.
I call this game, “I Knew There Was A Reason I’d Downloaded These Pics Of Scam Artists/Russian Mail Order Brides/Random WTF? To My Hard Drive!”
Players: Unlimited
Instructions:
1. Watch The Notebook.
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.2. Look at the pictures below and determine which ones are really birds and which ones just want you to say that.
Rules: No horseplay.
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Just Making Convo 
This whole THING is funny because Dane Cook didn’t say it!! Well done, NOT Dane Cook.
And B, seriously . . . if you wanna be a bird, you can be a bird. But please don’t involve your grandma in any more leg holding. It’s just embarrassing for all involved.
Thanks, Misty. Not to brag, but not being Dane Cook is probably my greatest accomplishment in life.
Am I disqualified from the game if I refuse to watch The Notebook?
And if I just engaged in just a tiny bit of horseplay?
You’re in luck. The good news is I just made up another rule that those rules cancel each other out.
Ok- I kind of forget what the object of the game is, but I pick Cowblurred because something about him reminds me of a plucked chicken.
That’s exactly what he reminded me of as well. A wrinkled, pervy, smoking plucked chicken.
With a deformed torso.
Birds are smart enough not to smoke while naked, unlike the cowblurred.
Even jaybirds?
It’s “naked as a jaybird” not “naked as a smoking jaybird.”
That’s only because back then they wore smoking jackets.
Ive never laughed so much at 2am when sitting down to wee as standing just isn’t an option at this stage. Who am I kidding, I wee sitting down sober too. Its just comfy
That’s why I do it, too. Also, whenever I use urinals I get stage fright.
I love the way your mind works.
I didn’t mean that in a creepy way… I sounded creepy, didn’t I? Well crap.
Look! A BIRD!
WHERE??? I wanna see it too!
Interesting. It took pictures of naked people and people eating undead animals to bring me out from the land of the lurking.
George! Had I known that, I would have cleaned out my “Random Crap” folder a long time ago!
True story Bschooled: last month I was visiting a friend at the Hilton sports book in Las Vegas. He introduced me to his good friend who happened to be scrolling through dozens of online Russian “mail order brides” (I had a bird’s eye view as I was seated next to him). Long story short, I convinced him it was a scam and have arranged an introduction to my Russian friend this week who is going to find him a REAL Russian bride when he flies back to Russia for two months. Turns out the guy (who is no bird brain) inherited a fortune from his mother and wants to find a Russian bride he can leave his money to since he has no children or heirs. Of course, nothing comes for ‘free’ as my Russian friend plans on hitting him up for a business loan (what we call ‘killing two birds with one stone’). Trust me, it is a lot cheaper than the $29.95 he was paying per minute to talk to a stocky babushka masquerading as a svelte Melani Trump (and we know a bird in the hand is better than two-in-the-borscht).
Wait, what??? Why wouldn’t he save himself the trip and call one of Las Vegas’ chicken ranches instead? For only $29.95, you can have a stocky babushka delivered to your hotel room in 20 minutes or less!
Or, so I’ve heard, anyway.
Those are some fun pictures. That Ryan Gosling can probably get girls to say they’re birds or just about anything he wants them to say in the sack. He’s so darned buff and pretty. I need to go to the gym a little more often . . .