Presenting Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, In Her First Rap Battle EVAH! (OR Alternative Title: Eight Mile, Uphill Both Ways, Carrying a Horse)

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So, you know how when you move out of your apartment and you’re between places so your friend offers to let you stay with her for a few days but then one afternoon she goes out so you decide to go snooping through her deep freeze because you already went through her medicine cabinets and, well, how else does she expect you to keep yourself occupied when she isn’t home? and on your way downstairs you see a framed picture on the wall of a lady who you swear is Gloria Estefan but it turns out to be just an exotic looking relative so you keep walking only now you have that song in your head about how the rhythm is gonna get you?

And at first you’re okay with it, but then it starts to get annoying, so you mumble “Whatever Gloria, the rhythm will never get me,” and she’s all “I know it, the rhythm is gonna gey’cha,” and you’re like “Just so you know, gey’cha isn’t even a word” and she’s like “The rhythm is gonna gey’cha, rhythm is gonna gey’cha, rhythm is gonna get you (Woof!)” so finally you’re like, “Uh, okay. Have another drink you crazy latina.”

So you assume that’s the end of it, but then you’re sitting on the couch eating a fudgesicle that you  didn’t steal from the freezer and watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (the one where Mrs. Johnson dies and they find a slow kid  hiding in her closet),  and suddenly you come up with a BRILLIANT(!) idea that you can’t believe you didn’t think of before and that’s when you start to wonder if maybe Gloria was right and the rhythm actually did gey’cha?

Well, that just happened.


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I feel your pain...


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By Day- A strong-willed, liberal-minded frontier woman on a mission to convince the townsfolk that a female doctor can successfully practice medicine.

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By Night- Wannabe rapper from the wrong side of the tracks throwing down beats in the battle of her life.

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…Um, so yeah. I think you’ll all agree that I’ve finally found my true calling.

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Whoever said you can’t find love online obviously needs to lower their standards.

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A compendium of correspondence from those whom I have loved and lost. (But mostly just lost.)


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And Finally….A Fairytale Ending

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When Zenobia added me as a friend on MSN a few months ago, naturally I was suspicious. I was like, “Who’s Zenobia? And why is she so lopsided?”

But no matter how many times I declined her requests (seven), she was persistent.  Eventually I gave in, and…well, the rest is history.

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