Billboard’s Most Forgettable Hits


Mike Oldfield’s Single

Track Listing

“And Looking”

“For A SWF”

“Age And Race Not Important”

“No Kids”

“Preferably Disease Free”

“But, Not Like It’s A Deal-Breaker Or Anything”

“Must Love Birds”





Velvet Gloves And Spit -Neil Diamond

Track Listing

“Velvet Gloves And Spit”

“Hair Gel And A Sock”

“Plastic Baggie And Vaseline”

“Baby Oil And My Right Hand”

“Canola Oil And My Left Hand”

“Two Pillows and A Banana Peel”

“Or, Sometimes If I’m Desperate I’ll Just Hump My Bed”.




Nana’s Book Of Songs -Nana Mouskouri

Track Listing

“Nana Bread”

“Nana Split”

“Nana Cream Pie”

“Nana Milkshake”

“Peanut Butter And Nana Sandwiches”

“Nana Hammock”

“Nana Republic”..




Ask Me What I Am -Burt Reynolds

Track Listing


“Nope, Not A Cowboy”

“Guess Again”

“Not A Cheesy Porn Star, Either”

“Nope, Not A Child Predator”

“…Or A Pervert”

“Give Up?”

“I’m A Tree!”

“With A Huge Trunk….Oh, And A Porn Stache”

Billboard’s Greatest Hits

. “Father Guild Says Howdy”- Father Guild





“Things To Do On A Rainy Night” – This Lady




“Wash Hair”

“Call Mom And Dad”

“Get Naked, Grab Blanket And Go Lie Tits-Up On The Linoleum”


“Rug Hooking”

“Watch TiVo’d Episodes Of Kate Plus Eight”




.“Looks Like Rain” -Mickey Newbury.


“Looks Like Rain”

“Or Beads Of Sweat”

“Or Tiny Blobs Of Clear Wet Stuff”

“Or Little Glass Marbles”

“Or See-Through Q-Tip Ends”

“Or Miniature Chocolate Chips But Instead Of Chocolate They’re Water”

“Or Colorless Sesame Seeds Magnified To 5X Their Original Size”

“Or Silica Gel Beads Which Is Actually A Misnomer Because It’s Not Really Gel But a Rather A Granular Form of Silicon Dioxide”

“But Mostly Rain”




.“I Call It Trouble” -Barbara Acklin


“I Call It Trouble”

“My Doctor Calls It Treponema Pallidum”

“My Friends Call It Boyfriend Repellent”

“My Mom Calls It Serves You Right”

“Hookers Call It A Job Hazard”

“My Ex Calls Me A Whore”

“Guys Don’t Call At All”




“This Dream’s On Me” -Gene Watson


“No, I Mean It”

“A Gal Like You Shouldn’t Be Paying For Dreams”

“Bartender, Get The Lady A Dream”

“Actually, Make It Two”

“As You Can Tell By My Bed-Head, I Dream A Lot”

“So, What’s Say We Go Back To Your Place For A Few Dreams?”

“I Feel Like Getting My Dream On”

“Wait…What Do You  Mean You Don’t Invite Strangers Over For Dreams?”

“Why Didn’t You Tell Me That Before I Pulled Out My Wallet?”