..
Ben Matlockisms
.
-When Ben Matlock is around, Exhibit A submits itself.
-When Ben Matlock’s LeBuick Sabre runs out of gas, he simply intimidates it from point A to point B.
-Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper. Ben Matlock acquitted all three.
-Ben Matlock doesn’t wear suspenders. He just threatens to hold his pants in contempt if they don’t stay up.
-In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. Ben Matlock then turned that wine in to the authorities.
-Ben Matlock played a game of lawn bowling with nothing but circumstantial evidence. AND HE WON.
-Ben Matlock doesn’t read books. He puts them on the stand and questions them until they finally break down and tell their story.
-Ben Matlock came out of his mother’s womb with the umbilical cord tied around his neck. He immediately had her convicted for attempted manslaughter.
-When an episode of Matlock was aired in South America, the entire Latino population confessed to the crime.
-Ben Matlock does not get dementia. Ben Matlock gets RE-mentia.
-Only Ben Matlock knows what RE-mentia means.
-Ben Matlock once ate seventeen hot dogs in one hour. He spent the first forty-five minutes convincing the cows to give up their extra organs.
-Ben Matlock bottles his sweat and sells as “Eau de Justice”.
-The only reason Carmen SanDiego was found is because Ben Matlock subpoenaed her.
-If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Ben Matlock.
.