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Ben Matlockisms

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-When Ben Matlock is around, Exhibit A submits itself.

-When Ben Matlock’s LeBuick Sabre runs out of gas, he simply intimidates it from point A to point B.

-Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper. Ben Matlock acquitted all three.

-Ben Matlock doesn’t wear suspenders. He just threatens to hold his pants in contempt if they don’t stay up.

-In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. Ben Matlock then turned that wine in to the authorities.

-Ben Matlock played a game of lawn bowling with nothing but circumstantial evidence. AND HE WON.

-Ben Matlock doesn’t read books. He puts them on the stand and questions them until they finally break down and tell their story.

-Ben Matlock came out of his mother’s womb with the umbilical cord tied around his neck. He immediately had her convicted for attempted manslaughter.

-When an episode of Matlock was aired in South America, the entire Latino population confessed to the crime.

-Ben Matlock does not get dementia. Ben Matlock gets RE-mentia.

-Only Ben Matlock knows what RE-mentia means.

-Ben Matlock once ate seventeen hot dogs in one hour. He spent the first forty-five minutes convincing the cows to give up their extra organs.

-Ben Matlock bottles his sweat and sells as “Eau de Justice”.

-The only reason Carmen SanDiego was found is because Ben Matlock subpoenaed her.

-If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Ben Matlock.

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