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So as you may or may not recall, I recently made the heartbreaking decision to defriend myself on Facebook.

Because I am resilient, I didn’t take it personally. After scrutinizing my friends list to figure out exactly who this bitch actually was, I just rolled my eyes, said “Oh, well, my loss anyway” and moved on.

But since arranged marriage isn’t what it used to be and it’s really hard to meet quality men at the bar (you know, the fleshy antisocial types who write senseless metaphor-infused poems and use chauvinist sexual references to make every lady they message feel like “the dirtiest girl in the world”), I temporarily added myself back in the hopes of creeping my way to my future soul mate.

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To find out more about why I haven’t been snatched up by my cutie McCamel toes yet, click here to read my interview with the “Libidinous Lust-Laden Lorelei Lurking Lavisciously onLine*, Feryx Lim.

*That’s Courtney Stodden speak for “hilarious”.

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