B’s “Conveyance O’ Classics”

..

.

Now with a new set of rims and a modest paint job, the bookmobile is back, and just in time for Christmas!

Here are just some of the festive fables you’ll find in my new and improved Vehicle O’ Vocab.

.

.

.

.

In this erotic mystery thriller, a pre-op John Cusack and my third grade Gym Teacher go undercover to catch a serial killer.

Hot on the perp’s trail, they pull an all night stake-out hoping to catch him in the act. But when their agonizingly slow dial-up connection fails and they instead  find themselves engaging in a night of unbridled passion, they have to struggle to catch up to this madman before he claims his next victim.

While I don’t want to give away the ending, trust me when I say it’s a riveting read.

..

.

.

.

.

.

Author of Bestselling essays “Is The Cervix a Mini-Donut?” and “Is The Cameltoe an Actual Camel’s Toe?” former Proctologist/Grave Digger Leo Bersani sets out to answer yet another question that everyone has pondered at one time or another– “Is The Rectum A Grave?”

While the book is informative, I think the following table (found on page three) pretty much sums up the answer to this age-old question.

..

.

.

.

.

.

“Hush,” is a Children’s book written by Dominic Catalano,  aspiring author and series regular on Dateline’s To Catch A Predator. I didn’t actually read this one, but from what I’ve heard it basically just teaches kids about the importance of keeping secrets.

.

..

.

.

.


Itchin’ To play but don’t wanna pay? Well, you’re in luck! With just a little imagination and a lot of sandpaper, you can turn that “Boring Old Craft Box” into an “Amorous Shaft Box”!

Make Your Own Sex Toys has fifty easy projects that will allow you to experience the same pleasure that people who can afford sex toys feel. And they make great Christmas gifts, too! 

Here are just a few of the titillating trinkets you can create:

.

.

Pipe-Cleaner Adjustable Cock-Ring

.

.

.

Fuzzy Ben-Wa Balls

.

.

.

Stuffed Hose Pocket Vagina

.

.

.

Lazy Man’s Lasciviousness

.

..

Armless Amelie

.

If you want to “Get The Lead Out Without Pulling The Bread Out”, I strongly suggest you buy this book.

**

.

.

.

“Peek-a-Poo What’s In Your Diaper?” is a mystery book that will appeal to the young, old, incontinent and/or senile.

Here’s what a few of the readers had to say.

.

‘What’s in Your Diaper’ is the shit! -For real, yo.”

-L’il Wayne

.
.

“Is it candy? Is it flowers? What’s in there? You’ll have to read it to find out!”

-Paula Abdul

.

.

“The ending is so shocking that I shat myself! But then again, I was going to do that anyway…”

-My Aunt Doris

.

*Thank-you for taking the time to check out these enlightening reads. And remember, if you’d like to purchase any of these festive fables for you or your loved ones, email me at bschooled@hotmail.com for a quote.

.

.

.