If impersonating a cougar was illegal, I’d just pull out my cougar-like acting skills and the judge would totally dismiss the charges.

*Male judges only

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As many of you may recall, recently I fell in love.

We met online, when I signed up on a dating site exclusively for cougars seeking younger men. Since I’m definitely NOT a cougar and calling Jude81 a man would be pushing it, it’s safe to say the odds were against us from the start.

But somehow we’ve managed to stay together, and as soon as I save enough money to help him save the orphans (oh yeah, did I mention that he owns his own orphanage!), he promises that he will, quote-“Love you till death do us apart so baby when will you be sending your donation i have bought lot of lovely clothes,shoes and furniture, for the children.”

*You can read more of Jude81’s grammatically incorrect messages in my upcoming book, “Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places,” available just as soon as I can find a publisher who’d be interested in that kind of thing.

Even though I wouldn’t trade Jude81 for a million Nigerian princes, the decision wasn’t easy. Throughout my alternative online dating journey  (which included trolling dating sites for MILFS, Nudists, Furries, Russian Brides-where I had to tweak my profile slightly in order to meet the 80 year old lonely Businessman with a Porsche requirement, etc.), I met dozens of eligible bachelors, all desperately vying for my affections/check book.

In an effort to help other lonely, single women with no street smarts find a reason to live, I’ve decided to post some of my sloppy seconds here. (Listed in order, from “Most Potential” to “A Misogynistic Cry For Help”.)

Try to keep in mind that while these may not be the most intelligent men you’ll meet online (or maybe they are, it’s not like I’d know), at least they’re not superficial. They don’t care about things like looks or age or personality or marital status or gender or whether or not you have a first name.

As long as you reek of desperation and/or make six figures a year, to them you’re the whole package.

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*FYI– In an effort to attract a more respectable list of cougar-loving suitors  than last time (no offense Jude81/love of my life), I updated my cougar-friendly profile

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Non-Cougar Biased Bachelors

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