Misanthropic Pick-Up Lines


.-Beautiful night…care to go for a stroll? Ok, great…just turn around and keep going until you see the nearest exit sign.

-You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me wish you’d get lost.

-Come here often? If so, please stop.

-If I was in charge of the alphabet, I’d put “U” wherever “I” wasn’t.

-You know what would look great on you? Nothing.

-I’d buy you a drink, but I hate you.

-Is it hot in here or do I just hate you?

-What has two thumbs and hates you? This guy.

-Are you a parking ticket? Either way, I hate you.

-You must be from Jamaica, because Jamaican me hate you.

-If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McIhateyou.

-Did you spray your jeans with Windex? Only because it seems like something a person I hate would do.

-Are those space pants? No? Well anyway, I hate you.

-If I said you had a beautiful body, would you understand that it’s code for “I hate you”?

-So, what do you do for a living? Besides be hated by me?

-If hating you was an Olympic sport, I’d win the gold medal for sure.

-See my friend over there? Just kidding, I don’t have friends. Ps. I hate you.

-Yes, as a matter of fact that is a pistol in my pocket…