So, for those of you hopeful romantics who’ve been waiting  anxiously for updates re: my personal life, I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is I’ve spent the last few weeks working on various blog posts based on my attempts at finding love. The bad news is that due to circumstances beyond my conscious control, I haven’t actually finished any of them.

Sadly, over the last few weeks my OCD has gone into hyperactive mode, a fact which can be illustrated by the following exchange between myself and a scammer/potential love interest on FB:

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Recently, while downloading photos from my iPhone, I discovered another side-effect of my debilitating and time-consuming illness.  I’m not sure of the medical terminology, but basically it consists of a subconscious compulsion to take  screenshots of every image I find, regardless of  subject matter/whether or not it was intentional.

While I complete the daunting task of cropping my lovers’ Facebook/email messages so that each one is exactly 320×600 pixels in size and not a pixel more so help me God, I thought I’d share are a few of these screenshots on the off chance that someone might find them useful.

*Please feel free to take whichever ones you feel will benefit your life in some obscure, illogical way. (No judgement.)

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A screenshot taken while learning how to take a screenshot.

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While trying to figure out why my alarm wouldn’t stop going off.

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I think they ‘re trying to tell me that playing Bubble Pop for
hours on end isn’t productive.

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A screenshot I don’t remember taking of a photo I don’t
remember taking of a pic of people I don’t know
= Art

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My three most prized possessions:
1. Computer
2. Remote Control
3. Left Leg

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Pretty sure this dude was ogling me with his peripheral vision.

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My nephew, Ollie. He takes after his dad. (aka. Burt Reynolds)

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Lol  Like father, like son!

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Inquiring minds want to know.

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This poem made me believe in shoulders.

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I have no idea why I took a screenshot of this.

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…Or this.

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Or why, three months later, it’s still my screensaver.

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Unlike my previous screensaver, which goes without saying.

 

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We’re related.

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Found while Googling possible reasons for blocked tear ducts.

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Speaking of blocked tear ducts…

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Er, I had a mouth infection and was looking for a dentist.

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Also,  a rash.

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Okay kid, so would you or would you not date a
fan??? You’re giving me mixed signals…

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I call this my visual ego boost.

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Er, no reason.

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“In India, Everything’s A Vagina!”

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Vagina

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Vagina

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Vagina

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Stunned Vagina

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Pussy

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It’s even more hideous than I imagined.

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It also explains  this.

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…and this.

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But not this.

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And definitely not this:

DUH!  Everyone knows that we Canadians only wear toques on our heads.

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Worst”Best Answer” in the history of Yahoo.

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Whenever I’m suffering from humor-related insecurities, I find  that Facebook really helps me keep things in perspective.

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.Same with Dane Cook’s Twitter feed.

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Fnally, just so you don’t think I completely lack depth, here’s  a quote from Joel Osteen:

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Which I never would have taken had I not accidentally typed the name “Joel Osteen” while Googling the adult version of this kid:

No reason

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