The Insomnia Games – Part III

*For previous games, click here  and here.

I call this game, “One Direction Rejection.”

Objective: After 36 hours of no sleep, decide that your new goal in life is to be awarded the title of “Oldest Directioner Ever.”
Rules:
1) “Like” the 50,000+ Facebook pages dedicated to One Direction.
2) Impress other Directioners with your extensive knowledge and undying passion for the band.
3) When they realize you’re neither knowledgeable nor passionate, prepare to be completely ignored.

.

One Direction Rejection

.

.

..

*****

.

.

*****

.

..

*****

.

.

*****

.

.

*****

.

.

*****

.

.

*****

.

 

Comments

  1. I wish I had your dedication to mockery. I just lack the appropriate commitment to baiting the unaware, but you have raised this to an art form. There should be some kind of prize for this – like a Booker prize, but for mockery. I will forever love the directions to pray for a miracle in case of onset of Bieber Fever.

    • Because I am a compassionate person who also hates being around sick tweens, I seriously considered having my “Bieber Fever Miracle Praying Directions” patented. But then I logged into Facebook and found out that Bieber Fever is actually a good thing?

      Which leads me to believe that the symptoms of this debilitating imaginary condition also include paranoid delusions.

  2. Wait. There is a person out there with that hair? I mean, on purpose?

    PS Make me one!

    • Harry, to his future children: “When I was your age, I had to walk uphill and sideways, IN THE WIND, to school both ways!”

      I will make you one asap. I just need to figure out how to make “Nikki B” rhyme with “Soap on a rope”…

  3. It’s really too bad that those idiots are too dumb to understand your comments. But then again, they wouldn’t be posting on there so you could mock them… Ah well.

    • To be fair, I was probably just as much of an idiot when I was their age. I remember when INXS was popular, my friend announced during their concert that she was going to sacrifice herself to Michael Hutchence. We all that it was a good idea, but decided it would be best if she waited until the intermission. Only because we thought he might get pissed if we were to fling her lifeless body on stage in the middle of his set.

      Er, in my defense, we didn’t have the internet back then…

  4. I haven’t been the same since Kevin died, either. I have a Niall phobia because of it.

    • I have a Niall phobia, too! But for different reasons. One being his thick accent, the other his inability to recognize that while calling your oblivious fans “c*nts” in public might seem romantic to them, it probably isn’t good for publicity.

  5. Rich Crete says:

    Looking forward to the soon to released songs:
    Oh, Kevin!
    Kevin Roasting On An Open Fire
    Eat My BBs
    I Shot The Kevin
    If You Love Someone, Eat Them
    Finger Lickin’ Good
    Tweet This!

    • Ha! Or, their more reflective, less visually disturbing image-triggering songs:

      Stairway to Kevin
      Knockin’ on Kevin’s (Bird House) Door
      Kevin’s On Fire
      Kevin Only Knows
      This Ain’t No Ordinary Dove
      What’s (a) Dove Got To Do With It?
      Losing My Rad Pigeon(?)

      Er, in hindsight, I probably should have stopped at Kevin…

  6. I had to google wtf One Direction was. Thanks for making me feel OLD!

    • If it makes you feel better, I now know all there is to know about them. Everything from Niall Horan having only one kidney, to the fact that Louis and his girlfriend are, quote, “As serious as you can get”.

      I liked myself better when I felt old.

  7. I am sorry but the worst thing you could possibly name your kid is Annalie because I read it as Analy.

  8. My favorite was the bartering of likes for his body parts. Classic.

  9. Why do Directioners use hashtags on Facebook? #idontgetit

  10. Your insomnia provides us with unending amusement and hilarity. Stay awake and keep it up.
    Perhaps you can write a book of tween afflictions – Bieber Fever, One Direction Infection, etc.

  11. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I suggest a hook-up between 4-nip man and the 3-breasted woman seen here:

  12. I literally spit water out of my nose at: “IkNoW WhAt MaKeS yOu BeAuTiFul”

    Genius

  13. that fella only appears to have 2 nipples.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 450 other followers